I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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