Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
