That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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