Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
