The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
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