So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
