he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
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