I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Randomize
