I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
