So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
