You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
A+ Viking dick
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
