fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
