i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize