The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
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