hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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