Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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