Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
