I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
