So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
