he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
You took a bar mat shot.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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