she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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