Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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