I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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