i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
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