Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
