She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I know her cup size but not her name....
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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