you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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