Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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