Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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