You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
