He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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