pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
BRING THE BAGELS
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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