Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
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