wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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