Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
