Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
