and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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