Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
