i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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