His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
