If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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