When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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