You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
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