This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
