You were right. It hurts to walk today.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
