How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
