I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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