Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
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