so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
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