we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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