Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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