He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
