We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
