somebody snuck up and got me drunk
You smell like stripper and shame
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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