so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Randomize
