Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
