lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
