Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
