I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
