She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
