dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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